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Please fulfil me, Otherwise kill me

I'm Nathan Collins, or Nate.
My main blog is hintofsarcasm.com
Follow me on twitter, @hintofsarcasm

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Roast dinner isn’t just food, not to me anyway. A roast dinner is a mental health treatment.

I suffer pretty badly with depression. Particularly with feelings of inadequacy, loneliness and a sense of not belonging.

I make a lot of roast dinners, sometimes more than one a week. Often for one, sometimes for two, occasionally for friends. To me, a roast dinner means closeness, togetherness and a happy family. With the long cooking time, big joint of meat, crispy roast potoatoes, homemade gravy and the time, effort and cooking styles passed down through families and refined over time, it is the ultimate food of passion, love and intimacy. But I just use it to fill a bunch of holes, not just in my belly, and that’s fine for now.

Happy Friday. For my own reference: List of awesome stuff. [To keep for a shitty day]

I’m a miserable fuck, and I’d had a pretty shitty 12+ months to November 2013. Things have been pretty awesome since the beginning of 2014, so I need to keep this as a reminder - for any forthcoming bad times - that things weren’t always so shitty.

  • Got to hang out and chat with my one of my musical idols after an amazing gig.
  • Started driving lessons and passed my theory test first time.
  • Made an impulsive weekend trip to northern France and Belgium.
  • Booked a trip for me and Tristan to Sicily. His first trip abroad.
  • House is always clean.
  • Food cooked freshly every day, or from frozen (previously cooked freshly).
  • Tristan is happy, healthy, cute and is now a real boy. He’s actually a really good comedian.
  • To-do items on personal and work lists have been finished every day.
  • Feeling good about my career, and the business.
  • Got a new hobby, karting, have matched or beaten my goals every time. 
  • Have only had 2 hangovers in two months. Learning how to enjoy alcohol in moderation.
  • Actually fucking happy.

I watched Star Wars (IV & V) for the first time and now I have a bunch of questions

  1. Why was there absolutely no blood when Darth Vader cut off Luke Skywalker’s hand?
  2. Why would they send Darth Vader up to destroy the Millennium Falcon? That’s akin to sending Winston Churchill up in a Spitfire.
  3. Why can’t the Storm Troopers shoot for shit?
  4. How did Luke’s hair dry so quickly after getting out of the garbage compactor?
  5. Why was Princess Leia so quick to get over her planet being blown up?
  6. Why did they steal the entire premise of IV from Independence Day?

That’s all for now.

Show the world we want a phone worth keeping! #phonebloks


 http://thndr.it/15eLEMU

Show the world we want a phone worth keeping! #phonebloks


http://thndr.it/15eLEMU

Fear and self loathing in South Wales

A list of some of the things that I need to focus on, to remind me, because I have been having a torrid time of dwelling on the unimportant, unproductive and damaging things in life.

Focus #1: Getting fit
Focus #2: Writing (Fiction?)
Focus #3: (New?) Career
Focus #4: Reading
Focus #5: Tristan

I just made this up a few months ago while getting back into cooking for myself. It’s nothing to look at, but it tastes great, kinda sweet but a little spicy too, so I make it every time.

Ingredients listed in the order I put them in:

Olive oil
Onion
Garlic
Yoghurt (500ml)
Coconut milk (1 can)
Medium curry powder (3 tablespoons)
Chopped tomatoes (1 400g can)
Tomato puree (2 tablespoons)
Garam masala (1 tablespoon)
Turmeric (1 teaspoon)
Salt
Sugar
Potatoes
Chicken

Heat until reduced. Yum.

I am not naturally evil.

I am not naturally evil.

cardiffbeforecardiff:

I feel this is my strongest picture- timeless, and hopefully, not pastiche!

cardiffbeforecardiff:

I feel this is my strongest picture- timeless, and hopefully, not pastiche!

Deciphering job ads

Here’s an advert for a position that I came across this evening:

Junior Software Developer

Advertised 

[CompanyName] is looking for enthusiastic individuals with a proactive attitude and the willingness to learn and develop within the company.

Deciphered

[CompanyName] is looking for a young person, probably straight out of college/university that will do the work of fourteen people and like it, then maybe, just maybe, they will be allowed weekends off, sometimes.

Advertised

The role will involve working in small and flexible customer-focused software development project teams

Deciphered

You will work on your own, to unreasonable deadlines, and you’ll be expected to answer emails and telephone calls from clients 24/7.

Advertised

Applications from recent graduates with an excellent higher degree in a mathematical, scientific or engineering discipline are welcomed.

Deciphered

The younger the better, because you have no salary expectations.

Advertised

Due to the nature of our work, only candidates who are likely to be eligible for UK security clearance can be considered for the position.

Deciphered

No immigrants, you’re too clever.

guardiancomment:

Too good for us not to make a gif: This morning, Jeremy Hunt, secretary of state for culture, Olympics, media and sport, could have killed an innocent onlooker with his bell end as he rang it with too much gusto to celebrate the Games starting in London.

guardiancomment:

Too good for us not to make a gif: This morning, Jeremy Hunt, secretary of state for culture, Olympics, media and sport, could have killed an innocent onlooker with his bell end as he rang it with too much gusto to celebrate the Games starting in London.